Why I am not Mad at God

(Last post)


Courtesy of johnny_automatic – clipart.org

Mike and I moved here because we believe God wanted us here for a reason. It does seem odd that God would dangle a carrot (i.e. the right church, multiple job opportunities) then take that carrot away.

However, it’s the reason why we won’t move anywhere else.

I have complained about the little problems that keep cropping up. Seriously, if you look around, NONE of these problems are that big of a deal on their own.

When we got into that accident a while back, I thought that now would be a time to go onto GoFundme to see if I can raise the funds to replace our camper, or at the very least, have a vehicle to take us back to Texas.

I changed my mind when I saw some people surviving worse disasters like flooding and tornadoes, children dying of cancer, mothers who are dying, leaving a husband and small children behind, Fathers who died on duty, etc.

Yeah, my problems really do seem insignificant.

I know some will be thinking that we have no faith, or God must be mad at us (a.k.a. “Prosperity Gospel).

“Prosperity Gospel” for those of you who don’t know about all of the false belief systems that stem from Christianity, is based on the notion that if you have enough faith, or if you are good enough, you will be blessed with earthly riches.

I’ve seen people tear themselves down to the point of near suicide, (people I know who suffered problems with their finances, thanks to the recession in the 90s) because of this evil, EVIL gospel.

Did I mention that this gospel is evil?

What happened to John the Baptist, Paul, and John (who wrote Revelation) and all of the other apostles? Did they ever see worldly riches before they died? They all ended up dying prison or sentenced to death because of their faith. They did something they believe was what God wanted to them to do and ended up losing everything worldly.

Jesus himself was all about voluntary poverty. He even told the rich young ruler to sell everything and follow him. He praised a woman giving up what could have been her next meal when she donated her two coins. Too really make the point, the new Testament doesn’t mention Jesus’s income – if he had anything at all.

And that’s why I’m not angry with God. Frustrated? Yes. Overwhelmed? Well, it doesn’t take much for me to be overwhelmed anyway. I’m definitely curious to why we are like this. Why things like these small problems keep popping up to prevent us from getting a little ahead. We were so close to paying off our debt. Now we are back into the hole (so to speak). Mike said he would have no problem working low wage jobs if we could just pay off our credit cards.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against being rich. I still hope that someday I would have enough money to help people who end up in my predicament. However, I will never, never, assume it’s because I was “good” or that I had enough faith. That’s just stupidly dangerous.

This “Prosperity gospel” tears people down who cannot get ahead, due to economic problems, or just all around “bad luck”. It encourages arrogance to those who have it all. They can assume it’s because they have all the faith in the world and everyone who has less is below them. Why help out others if God is punishing the poor and sick for their lack of faith and/or good works.

I have yet to see them explain on how people like Trump, who was wasn’t a Christian before his presidency, had all the riches. Now that he said the sinner’s prayer (and maybe Baptized, don’t know didn’t keep track), suddenly it’s that God blessed him?

If you have anything to add, go ahead and comment below. My post is already long enough and beyond TL;DR so if you have any questions or think I missed anything, I can address it in another post.

Next post (Tuesday Thursday Eventually?) Small blessings – Why I still believe in God.

Note: This is supposed to be a blog based on family stuff. I have my new phone. I’ll be posting smaller posts on my family life more frequently between these longer rants.

Well, it finally happened.


“No one is more beautiful as intelligent as me”

Mike was fired again and this time it stuck. Apparently, “Fred”, his former manager tried to fire him before, but was too incompetent to even do that right.

From what Mike had described to me and from what I have found out (yes, I went there), he sounds like a classic case of a psychopath/sociopath.

We knew this for a long time and I tried to convince Mike to go to HR quite some time, but Mike is patient and doesn’t like to make a scene. Then, after he was fired the first time, er, I mean suspended… Er, I mean take a forced vacation (all according to “Fred”, by the way), he didn’t really care anymore and only stayed for the insurance.

The good news is that he gets a severance package that lasts for a month. So this will give us some time to find some work. I don’t doubt he’ll find a few electrical jobs in the next few weeks (ahem… anyone in Texas need some wiring done?). He does have his provisional license, finally.

The other good thing is that now I can blog about this unrestrained. I stopped short of a complete rant last time because for some reason, I had a feeling that it wasn’t over. Now it’s official – and yet, I’m too nice to mention this person by his real name.

This isn’t the first time someone like this has caused problems for a company. Mike had to deal with the same type in GE. Management in large companies like Pepsi and GE rely too heavily on office politics and flattery rather than quiet productivity. As a result, it’s a playground for sociopaths – psychopaths who try to weasel their way to the top. As a result, good workers lose their jobs and companies loses millions as these sociopaths try to cover for themselves though blame, undermining, sabotage, and blatant lies.

Usually, when you realize the person is doing all that I described, It’s too late. Many people have already lost their jobs, and some may have even committed suicide (this happened at the GE plant in Rutland.)

Now that “Fred” had been demoted to mere maintenance manager, the talented, already skilled crew are already looking for new jobs because he’s already giving them grief (that didn’t take long, did it?). This will cause the Pepsi plant in Mesquite to lose millions of dollars more in training and lost productivity. But it won’t be “Fred’s” fault. It’s never a psychopath’s fault.

Note: Before you say that it serves the company right, keep in mind that a psychopath is very good at keeping up the charade. Many of them know how to walk the walk and talk the talk but only . Even the most socially intelligent and competent manager can be fooled if they have never encountered one. Check these sites out:


This post is in the realm of “TLDR” so I’m breaking it down into parts. Stay tuned.

My Own Lesson – Part 1

I have been a bit tame this political season. The people who look like that are going to win are not good for the country, period. Last primary I was humbled by the fact that no matter what facts you have to present, people would rather believe the lies that have been ingrained in our society for years rather than take a stand to make a difference. They refuse to stand out, because since no one making an effort, their effort would be either wasted or worse, the cause of the problem.

Is it no wonder that Jesus called us sheep?

I’ve done some serious soul searching the last couple of years and realize, it’s not likely we’ll change the country unless we can change ourselves, then influence the the people around us to do what is right. Set the example of what we are supposed to be. Then as people see how we act in a positive way, they will want to emulate us.

Jesus knew that. That’s why he never told his disciples to get involved in politics. Instead, he told them to go out and preach the gospel, to love one another, and to love our enemies. Think about it. Go and read the New Testament. Watch how he treated the Pharisees who were the pinnacle of righteousness (on the surface, they knew the law and “followed it to the t”). Then watch how he treated sinners.

We do have so many problems in this society and it’s not feminism’s fault. It’s not Obama’s/Bush’s fault. It’s not the liberals or conservatives. It’s not the sun spots, or the alignment of the planets. It’s not climate change or evil corporations. It’s not tree-hugging hippies or hipsters. It’s not the motorcycle gangs or the homosexuals, black, whites, or not even (dare I say it) ISIS’s or Islam’s fault.

As Christians, it’s our fault. Your fault. My fault.

We failed and we are suffering the consequences of our actions.

It’s About Time

In my last post, I talked about what happened to Mike. I left out a lot of detail that I thought would freak some people (namely family members) out. Let’s just say Mike wasn’t himself.

We had to gamble whether or not to take him to the emergency room, just because if it wasn’t life or death, we would have been stuck with a $15,000+ bill. In hindsight, he should have allowed himself to collapse at work, because it probably would have been paid.

That said, the ordeal is over. Mike is well enough to work, but occasionally suffers lapses in energy. He has to remember that when he has a bought of energy, to take it easy anyway. If he over does it, he will suddenly hit a wall.

Having something like this happen has changed my perspective in things. I don’t know how many times I say “I’m going to self improvement here>… tomorrow (or next Monday, month, etc.) Whether it would be to lose weight, post to one of my blogs, write the next American novel, or sell one of my million dollar ideas, I always seem to want to do them… tomorrow.

Instead, I let things get into the way. I have to get “more organized” first, or maybe I need to get into a better routine, first… or maybe I should wait until Ethan <insert a milestone>.

One of the many books that I have read that inspired me in the first place has mentioned  something about not waiting for the stars to align, because that’s never going to happen… I KNEW this, and yet… I was still waiting.

No more waiting. No more waiting until the time is right, the kids are well-behaved, the camper remains clean for more than 5 minutes. I’m tired of being dictated by our finances. I’m tired of not being able to help people because we can barely afford to take care our own family.

I’m tired of waiting on others to do what they should be doing, so that we can do what we need to do so that we can use the RV for what it’s meant for (hint, it’s not living for 2 years in). Chances are, that person is doing the same thing I’m doing.

In short: I done being dictated by finances, what everyone else is doing, and my falsely perceived shortcomings.

…And I’m not waiting until Monday.


(more posts to follow)


Give us our Daily Bread… to stock up on?

Sunday Class Notes

Sunday Class Notes Taken This Morning, Sorry about my handwriting.

Today’s Sunday Class was interesting, it’s too bad class was short. We got hung up on “give us our daily bread part”.

I’m somewhat of a survivalist. I was on of those y2k nuts, at least until I was sure that companies did heed the warning and hired plenty of programmers to solve the problem.

One comment that got us talking was that there was only so much you can prepare for, but sometimes the inevitable happens. Then what?

Praying for your daily bread is probably all that you can do and trust God will provide it.

Note: There’s something to be said about being prepared. Mike had his savings and I had bought in bulk, allowing us to stockpile a little. It all came in handy when Mike wasn’t working anymore. However, I believe God had a hand in it. Mike was able to pick up random work that allowed us to pay our rent, and the current job that he has now came in the nick of time.

I still have a hard time letting go. It’s not that I should sit back and be lazy. It’s just that our funding (and space) is limited. I’m doing all that I can to NOT buy in quantities that would make the local food pantry jealous, or fret on the fact that we have no property to live off of in Texas, and trust that God will provide.

Sticker (GAH!) Shock

shockedDecided to check out some universities for online course in Web Development. One particular sounds quite interesting and I would be all for it… except the $59,000 price tag for a BS. Yes, all materials included.

A far cry from the $3000 home course in Computer programming I took in ’96 that included a new and latest Desktop. My husband paid $13,000 for his on-campus experience.

What on earth happened?!

Bah… I’ll have to either find some way to fund it, or come up with my own courses. I definitely will not be going this semester as going into more debt is NOT going to help our situation out.

Crazy Week

Fired red stamp

Fired red stamp (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have been so focused on my husband’s website, that I have lost track of time. I didn’t realize it’s been so long since my last post and so much has happened that I don’t know where to start… So, here goes:

A couple of weeks ago, my husband was fired from his job. I won’t go into too many details, but by the sounds of it, it won’t be long before this particular plant will shut down and the jobs move elsewhere. My husband had been complaining for a while now on the incompetent managers, and of course, I’m sure the incompetent managers didn’t like him at all. The fact of the matter is, incompetent people do not like the competent, because it reminds them how terrible they really are. So, when he finally made a mistake, they were all too eager to get rid of him.

It’s interesting to note, my husband is now happier and more motivated than he was. Granted, it will be extremely tight for the next few months as we both find ways to make money at home, but it’s nice to see him not spending most of his non-working, awake time reading Fark and political forums. Instead, he has been spending more time with the kids, which makes the kids happier.

My husband is currently a licensed Master Electrician in VT. While he’s not sure if he wants to make this his permanent profession, any work that brings in cash is good work. So, as I have said before, I’m working on his website, so it would be easy for someone to look him up.  Later, there will be more to the site. At the time of this posting, there’s only a homepage and a contact page (which also contains the towns that he will be servicing). We’ve talked about having weekly content published and move towards more of an informational site, rather than continue with the trade. We are not sure yet, but I’ve added the “Articles” mod and now I have to learn how to use it. Because there are so many interruptions in life with five kids and two dogs, it’s taking much longer than it should.

So, now, even with the future uncertain, I am still optimistic. I never see what most would consider “bad luck” to actually be bad. I’ve learned a while ago that anything bad happens is a learning opportunity. Interestingly enough, I seem to be more productive on the computer than I have been when we were certain that we would have a paycheck next week. Perhaps, this is God’s way of giving us the “kick in the pants” that we needed to start focusing on being better.




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Goals: Meal Planning (part 1)

English: Raw vegetables and dips

English: Raw vegetables and dips (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In my last post, I had talked about goals vs. resolutions. At the end of the post, I’ve mentioned that I seemed to have lost a size.  However, not planning my meals had made it difficult. On the days that I’m tired or I’ve had a rough morning, it’s so much easier to just boil some pasta or eat some random item in the fridge. So now, starting next week, I will be planning my meals.

Breakfast and dinner may be a little more random, and I will just plan lunches. As it turns out, since Mike goes to bed at 3:00pm, our biggest meal is lunch and I usually make a very light dinner for the kids and myself.  Perhaps after getting into a routine of making meals as planned, I will also work on breakfast and dinner.

To make things a little more efficient, I will only plan six meals, one for each day, and each day will have an assigned meal, except one. For example, for every Monday will be “meal x” and every Tuesday will be “meal y” and so on. Saturday would be a good day to have the experimental day, where I try a new meal on the kids. If they really like it, then I can use it to replace a meal that the kids are getting bored of or aren’t too crazy about.

Sunday, we usually eat somewhere else, so I have designated Sundays to be a day off from the stricter diet, but I will still have to avoid any food that triggers my allergies. On the rare occasion that we don’t eat at my parent’s house or at church, I’ll just have to scratch something up. Maybe I’ll consider precooking some meals and putting them into the freezer for those days.

With all that said, now I have to figure out what to make. I bet there are thousands of recipe sites to choose from and on each site, thousands of recipes.

Here’s one site that seems interesting, especially since I have decided to lean towards more of a paleo diet as I can no longer eat gluten and I have cut back on sugar. Thefoodie.com is a community-based site in where the members add their recipes. The best part is that you can make your shopping list by adding recipes to a “shopping cart”. So, after you have planned for a week, you can print out a list of what you will need.

The food listed looks really, really good. Perhaps I should have waited until I’ve had something to eat before looking at this site. I’ve already added quite a few recipes to my favorites.

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Resolution vs. Goals


Fruits (Photo credit: PamelaVWhite)

Well, I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions this year. There seems to be some unwritten law that all resolutions must be broken and it also seems that everyone follows that law. Goals, although sound exactly the same way (e.g. “I will lose 40 pounds by spring”), goals seem to be more attainable.

It’s funny how our mind plays tricks on us.

Anyway, making a resolution to lose weight is a bad idea for me, now. Losing weight while pregnant is not recommended, at least not unless it’s an extreme case.

However, working to better health is. Actually, most practitioners recommend a diet change, when pregnant, although I’ve heard some stories of some doctors insisting on milkshakes and junk food to someone who was a bit underweight. I’ll leave my opinion out of that one.

So, I’m working on improving my health, with care of course. I don’t intend on eating less than I need, since I’m not just eating for myself, but for the baby as well, but I do intend on (and have been) eating a lot less food high in sugar.

I have to admit, I was kind of forced into this “health kick” as it seems that higher carb foods seem to trigger a few reactions. The first one is a psoriasis attack on the back of my hands (wheat is the worse offender) and the other is high blood pressure, depending on how much high carb foods I eat.  This includes “gluten free” items like corn flakes and rice.

I have been mostly limiting these foods to just small amounts and only if I already had some protein. The cravings are hard to beat, so having a little does help keep me from going crazy. Of course, there’s also the convenience factor, as it is easier to pour a bowl of cereal than it is to cook some eggs or steak.

I do feel like I’m eating a lot.  I haven’t kept track of the calorie count, but certainly don’t feel like I’m starving. Interestingly enough, I had to buy more maternity pants. The ones that I had purchased about a month ago are now too big.

I’m keeping the larger size, it won’t be long before my stomach will be able to hold them up.

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